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This is my 3rd year returning to Donna’s village for their Fiesta, honoring the patron Saint, San Ignacio.  I look forward to this every year. We take a 3 day motorcycle ride getting here, which forces us to go thru Manila, the traffic Hell on earth.  This year we out smarted the traffic, did the first leg getting right to the outskirts of the massive city, then transitioned at 4 am on a Sunday, albeit in the rain.  It worked, zip and thru we went.

The rest of the trip to the southern reaches of Luzon Island is fairly pleasant. Riding here is a trip, busses, trucks and big cars ignore you if they are in the oncoming lane. They must know how much I love life as they pop right out in front of you assuming you will head for the side and miss them, yikes!

The last stop is my favorite, a wonderful hot spring carved out of a mountain side. We arrived in the afternoon and could enjoy the morning as the last leg is short and so we did.

We arrived, to great cheers from Piam and the family. After the initial greeting, we headed to our hotel. We found a picturesque place to stay right on the Pacific Ocean, actually a surf destination in the season but we are in the off season so pretty empty. Our suite faces the ocean, has air con and a large separate bedroom, for $26 a night. The manager has become a friend.

Ol Arlo Guthrie, in Alices Restaurant opens with “Let me tell you about Stockbridge Massachusetts…. His small town,, well let me tell you about Gubat, Sorsogon.  There are no cops (usually) no ATM, I looked in the 3 stores for mustard, French’s would have done fine, nope that is in the city, haha.  I am the only “foreigner” here, so I stick out.  First day all the family knew I was in 3 stores and what I bought before I got back to the house!  Small town.  And the village of San Ignacio is tiny, about 4 blocks, there are 42 such villages tied to Gubat. 

This is the real Philippines, not the westernized Subic Bay but the real thing, English is barely spoken, families are paramount as is community. The people redefine friendly with a shy twist.

The Fiesta goes on for several nights, the events are in the public court next to the family house. Night one is Ballroom dancing, where pro male instructors take their prize student to twirl about, like Dancing with the Stars Filipino style. It is quit an unexpected show in this setting. The following nights are for: alumni, where all the classes of the local school have tables, then seniors then teenagers, all dance all night long.

The actual Fiesta Day is Monday and a neighborhood party, starting at pre-dawn with the “killing of the pig”. The main families, Donna’s included, raise a pig just for this day, it is a great day, ok for everyone but the pig.

We strolled from house to house where copious amounts of food were put before us. Every house is jammed with visiting relatives, most related to Donna. As we strolled she would point out “this is the house of my cousin, this is the house of my uncle” up and down the street. I have never seen such open, warm and friendly people. People living in small packed primitive houses sharing all they have.  I hugged ancient rugged skinned grannies, kissed babies, danced with teenagers, and sang Karaoke. 

Karaoke goes on and on in about every 5th house this gleeful day. I just read a piece by an Irish chap who lives here, he nailed it, the Filipinos sing! Whether they can sing or not they sing, there is no holding back, no self-consciousness the just love to sing. 

So normally this ends the Fiesta and all relax, eat left overs and get back to normal life, not this year.  After about a year of contemplating, debating, praying, and soul searching, I came to the conclusion that fear was holding me back, not my normal stance. My history with marriage is a dismal train wreck, as it is with most my family. Swore it off! But I find myself in love with a wonderful girl who loves me and my lifestyle. PLUS she comes with a kid I adore.  As with all Filipino girls, even more so than other cultures, the wedding is the pinnacle of their lives, they are raised to dream about it as are their families.  So, for the first time in my life my decision to marry was not a selfish one, it is for those I love.

Add my “go big or go home” dogma to the huge family forces here and I had to do this right.  The sisters and the two ladyboy friends and I started planning this caper weeks before I arrived. By the time I arrived the whole village was in on it, we had secret meetings, always telling the somewhat fearful (she knew something was up) and curious Donna to “go away” when we met, drove her nuts.

The resort has an excellent venue, and they went the extra mile to make it spectacular.  Thirty relatives and friends showed up. When we sent Piam to get his mom, who had been banished to our room, she walked into a huge surprise!

I love the traditions here and respect them so my first move was to ask Donna’s Papa for his daughter’s hand in marriage.  He beamed like a light house and said yes. then I got on one knee and proposed to my love in front of everyone, gads she better say yes!

Well Yes was the answer, the room exploded in confetti and loud poppers, the banner was rolled out “SHE SAID YES” and the cake presented, with Mickey and Minnie Mouse and inscribed SHE SAID YES. The cake also had a Spiderman for Piam, I am marrying a package deal you know.

We all had a feast, drank, sang and danced for hours, it was a wonderful time! I am very blessed! 

Make Your Dream Your Story

Capt. Brian Calvert

M/Y Furthur

www.furthuradventures.com

This morning I awoke to some heart-breaking news, the daughter of a dear old friend had tragically died in a random and unpredictable home accident.  I was there when this child, now 22 years old, was born and watched her grow up to an amazing woman. I watched as my friends raised this incredible young lady, always supporting and always gleaming with pride, they were the best of “All In” parents.  Now I cannot imagine the pain they must feel. This news was especially emotional for me as I now have a child in my life.

Kelly at her graduation, now tragically taken

I am biologically childless by a decision I made as a young man, one I have not regretted but it certainly removed me from one of life’s primary experiences. Today I can experience the joy of a child.  I love Donna’s son and really enjoy his time with us, but I got to admit, I have been a bit gun shy, not my usual “all in” approach.  We had come to this part of the country to partake in Piam’s graduation from Kindergarten, a big deal here.  This was made a big challenge by a four-day cold front bringing big winds to the area which has no really good anchorage. Fact is when we arrived some on the wharf said we were the first pleasure yacht to come here, another said a Canadian boat came years back so we were second, not a sign of a good place to be.

My main goal was to get Donna here, I did that and had a good reason to stay with the boat as the wind was still strong and maybe if I had not learned of the loss of a child of a close friend, I might have skipped the whole thing. I know my friends would have never missed any milestone in their daughter’s life, never!.  The wind died down a bit and I thought of my friends “All In” ways, I had to go. It is about 25k to the village from the anchorage, I went ashore not sure of how to do this, but when I said I had to get to a graduation ceremony, the guys at the dock seemed to know the importance and lent me a nice motorbike, so off I went. Now imagine a brown skinned guy who does not speak English arriving in any US town and the locals just handing over the keys to their car? Ya not going to happen.

the whole town shows up

The Filipinos cherish their children as no others, lots of them and educating their kids is a primary goal, they are “all in”. Each village has several schools and each school has “Recognition Day” at the end of the school year and the whole town shows up! New clothes are bought, hair done and even make up on the very youngest. Each parent arrives pridefully hand in hand with the kids. The village ladyboys, the beautician experts, have been working double time applying makeup, doing the hair of even the very youngest, the entire village is “All In”.  Families with more than one child enlist a close relative or neighbor escort the child, each one has an escort.

each with a loving escort

Awards are doled out for each class and medals given. The first group to receive recognition is the SPED, special education students. This can be hearing impaired kids who use sign language or developmentally impaired kids. I was already a bit emotional after the morning’s news so when I saw the dozen SPED kids in their bright pink “GOD MADE ME SPECIAL” t shirts, all smiling brightly and “signing” the national anthem, i broke down in tears. Donna knows me well now and had a hanky at ready.  The whole town cheered them on and it was clear they were loved and connected. They were the first to get the medals, the categories included: young singer, young dancer, book lover, budding mathematician, creative hands, and others indicative of a well-rounded education.  The also got sports awards from a recent regional Special Olympics type event. If was not already misty eyed, a tiny little girl with physical limitations was put in a chair, handed a microphone and belted out an incredible song, Who am I. Tears flowed as she sang:

Who am I, that the lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?

Next was the big event for us; the Kindergarten awards. Piam had some struggles this year adjusting to the authority of a school. He may not be my kid genetically but he sure could be on this one hahah.  Once we got a text from the sisters, (we get texts daily of his antics) the teacher had assigned them to write one whole page of the letter “W”. Piam simply wrote one big W covering the entire page and handed it in. I had to try hard to hide my laughter and “atta boy”.  Trials past, he did get an honorable award, “Sporty Kid”. Donna was keen on maybe “mathematician” or “star reader” I thought “Sporty kid” was just fine.  

I shared hugs with the family, popped on the bike and headed back to find Furthur sitting pretty. I offered the guy with the bike some money and he refused, I did fill his gas tank.  Back aboard and waiting for Donna and Piam to come later I thought of the day, the tragedy and the joy I had experienced.  I now know I need to be “All In”.

Make Your Dream Your Story

Capt. Brian Calvert

M/Y Furthur

www.furthuradventures.com